your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize