He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
God, I missed his penis.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize