roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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