he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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