you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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