What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
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