All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
