Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
