like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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