just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Randomize
