Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
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