all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
