Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
