god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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