You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
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