If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Randomize