Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize