It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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