fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
