YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
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