theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize