Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
