Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
