Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
