I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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