so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I'd cum for enchiladas.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
