She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
