Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
