I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize