HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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