Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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