I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
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