I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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