Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
