So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
