i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
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