Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
