i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
