Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
