Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize