Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
