Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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