i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Randomize
