There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
