My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize
