I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
