y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
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