My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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