I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
