just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
We are two peas in an std pod
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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