I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
