they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Randomize
