The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
His hands were made for my vagina.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize