I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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