apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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