just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then my night got REAL pukey
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize