can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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