WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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