AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize
