nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
