Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize
