Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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